This is my first attempt at creating a blog. This will be a place where I can share my thoughts and knowledge of witchcraft and I am warning you now... what I say here represents MY interpretation and practice of witchcraft and in no way is meant to represent the right way or the best way of doing things. It will simply be a representation of MY witchcraft practice. Nuff said.
I would like to start by very briefly outlining my journey in discovering my spirituality. This should give you an idea of why my beliefs and practices are the way they are. I was raised in a non-religious family. I went to public school, and religion was not very present in the school other than the singing of Christmas carols and the celebration of the stereotypical Halloween. For a very long time I wanted to believe in Christ, I even owned a pocket New Testament. I was probably about nine when I came to the realization that Christianity was a lie. No Christ. No heaven. My nine year old mind panicked for a moment and I remember my first thought was, "But then where do we go when we die?" At this age I hadn't experienced much death, other than the passing of our family dog Muffin. Apparently I was the only one who attended Muffins funeral, before my dad lowered her into the ground in the backyard. Somehow, I really cant explain it, but I knew, just knew, at age nine that when we pass from this world we would exist in some other way, or in some other place and that it wasn't something to fear. My personal opinion is that the ancestral knowledge buried deep within me held this knowledge.
At age 13, starting high school, I began researching Wicca. I had only met a Wiccan family once, but they seemed happy and loving. As I began to research I often had non-aggressive debates with my Christian best friend about concepts of life and how our beliefs of things differed or were similar. We were both content with the understanding that all religions look to answer the same questions and in reality come to the same conclusions which are just expressed indifferent ways.
I remember casting my first spell. It was a protection spell, because I felt negative entities visiting me in my bedroom frequently at night. I was nervous. I followed the steps I had read online. The spell didn't work. The negative entities came back, more fierce than ever before. I closed my eyes, envisioned myself in a room with many doors and placed the negative entities behind one of those doors. I envisioned myself standing in front of that door and in perfect confidence told the spirits they were not welcome. Eventually they went away and to my knowledge never came back. I like to think of this now as 'mind magick' and a very strong form of witchcraft.
I came to a period in my life where I did not like t consider myself wiccan because there were too many fluffy bunny wiccans out there at that time. I began to refer to myself simply as Pagan, and focused on spending time in nature, hunting and fishing and just enjoying life. I didn't practice any form of magick and didn't think too hard about what I believed an didn't believe. One summer I had a job in a place called Grundy Lake Provincial Park. Blues waters and a sea of tall pines everywhere you looked. So remote and peaceful. My grandfather came to see me on his way to a Metis function up at Sault Ste Marie and he loved this place and couldn't be prouder of me for working and living there. He told me he had finished building a new mobile hunt camp and that we would plan my first moose hunt. Three weeks later he died. I was broken. He was my best friend. I began self medicating and placed myself in a few purposeless relationships. I felt like I couldn't even remember who I was anymore. I was walking through the world a shell of a person.
I returned to my hometown after adventuring through the world alone for such a long time. Even sitting in the spot where as a kid I sat and revelled in the beauty of the world I felt noting. It was like all the colour had gone from the world. Eventually I ran into an old friend of mine, an old crush really. With a little bit of liquid courage the told me that he had always had a crush on me. I was flabbergasted, and a bit irritated that it had taken him so long to tell me, but I knew this was important. I felt a purpose again. I had to be with him, and I have been ever since. Slowly but surely some of the color began to return to the world around me. I began looking into my old witchcraft roots and have been learning and experiencing so much more than I did in my adolescence. And that just about brings me to the present. I hope this long-winded walk through my history hasn't brought you to bored tears. I hope to post more about where my beliefs lie next, so stay tuned!
